Crashing down

So I feel like the world is crashing down on me and all I have is an umbrella that is about to break to keep me from completely breaking down.  I feel like pretty soon all it is gonna take is one last thing to go wrong, no matter how big or small and I'm done.  I just would like things to run smoothly for me, at least for a little while.  But now I feel that karma is getting back at me like there is no tomorrow for being such a horrible person growing up. 

This is how I felt a few days ago but NOW I feel good.  I decided to go back to school for Medical Assistant and then Anesthesia Technician and Renton Technical college.  I would have to say I decided this all due to my mother and what she is going through.  I’ve been curious and now it has peeked my interest to the point where I am “OMG I WANNA DO THAT!!!”.  Dave is supporting me 100% since I will be quitting my job.  Tabi will be going to their daycare, which would be great for her.  She’ll be around other kids and see that they are potty trained and hopefully she’ll wanna be like them and be potty trained.

OMG I AM SOOO HUNGRY!!!

I’m starting to think that I won’t be able to go to school and not work.  Money will be very tight and I don’t know if we can handle it.  It would be easier if I has some sort of savings that could help us while I am in school but I don’t.  It just seems whenever I get really excited over something and I mean REALLY excited, something comes to crash it down and I get sad.  But I do have to be on a waiting list, so maybe things will look up by the time school starts.  I shouldn’t let this bump stop me from trying to be a better person, a better mom, a better human for society.  I can build up whatever extra I have from a paycheck and not touch it.  Which means I may have to give up going out and buying those little extras I love so much.  If I really want this then I should try to make it work. 


Yes, I will make this work. Not just for me but for my lil one.